The Summer of Miscontent

How Was Your Summer?

I was lucky enough to be home from work for 2 1/2 months this summer. Unfortunately, most of that time was spent in my bed. This is a blog post about what I did this summer. Reporting this in December seems a bit tardy but I honestly didn't allow myself to write about it before now because I wanted some distance between myself and my recovery.

I decided that I wanted to have an abdominoplasty done. For most of my adult life, I've had significant skin hanging from my abdomen and I repeatedly had strangers ask me about my pregnancy. Buying pants was a pain. Ultimately, I felt like skin was not even really part of me. I researched the local surgeons and started consulting a couple years ago. When I knew we'd probably be leaving Canada Summer 2014, I felt like it had to happen Summer 2013 or never (or at least not for awhile…). Luckily, when I met with the surgeon, we were able to schedule a surgery within the next month. The timing was perfect.

My surgery was booked for June 18th. I planned on one month of recuperation and then 3 weeks of fun in the sun with the kids.

June 18th

The surgery is booked for 7am. It will be about 2.5 hours long. I woke up and the first thing I remember was pain in my hips. It felt like someone had repeatedly smashed a metal bar against them. Along with the abdominoplasty (which included sewing up abdominal muscles that had separated after several pregnancies), the surgeon had also done some liposuction on the hips. Not for the faint of heart! I was surprised to see that I had a drain out of each hip which I had to measure when I emptied the fluid. That was kinda uncomfortable as the days went on. Partly because this was a private surgery, I was supposed to return home that afternoon. The problem was - every time I got up I would faint. They called me a vaso-dilator??? Finally, after a third try, I was able to get into the car without fainting.

June 19th - 27th

Eric and the kids were SO good to me. I couldn't move my entire mid-section so I stayed on my back propped up with pillows and I depended on Eric to move me, help me get up and go to the bathroom, etc. The surgery included the area from underneath the breast-line down to the pelvic bone and the outside of both hips. I was taking a few pain-killers but not too much. Eric prepared great food for me during this period of time. Fabulous smoothies full of goodness, salads with fish for lunch. I may have been feeling crummy but my appetite was just fine! The kids didn't come into my room too often. They were kinda grossed out. Eric went out for one evening and Konrad was left responsible to help me move around. He took it so seriously and did such a great job. Nothing like stitches and drains to encourage children to be good to their parents! 

June 28th

I had my drains removed. The drains were uncomfortable and a real pain since they were on the outside of each hip close to the waistline. I was sort of nervous about this whole thing - it sort of felt like a baby moving around inside your belly when she was pulling out all of the plastic tubing. Unfortunate for me, I started spiking a fever that afternoon. I knew I was in trouble and starting emailing the surgeon to let him know my temperature and sending pictures of the wound site.

June 30th

Although it was Sunday, the surgeon met me at his clinic at 8am to see what could be done. He drained the site and put me on a second batch of antibiotics.

July 1st

I was so sad that I couldn't celebrate Canada Day with the kids very much. Eric and the boys went for a walk at the Mackenzie King Estate and Anders brought home 3 salamanders. I was determined to go out for fireworks although I really should have stayed home. At this point, the infection was pretty advanced. I had a high fever, the site was red, swollen and was starting to leak through the incision.

July 2nd

I meet with the surgeon again and he has to open me up again. I knew this was the only way to find relief so I did not contest in any way. I've never had surgery while being awake so it was a bit unnerving but I did alright. He froze the area, tried to clean out some of the infected tissue and put in some new drains. 

July 5th to August 15th

The surgeon removed my drains on July 5th and assured me that the incision would not close up. Man, I was so surprised when not only did the incision site not close, I developed a marsupial pouch! It was pretty shocking at first when I could see inside my body but I got used to it. I changed the gauze every few hours to ensure it was clean and eventually, I gained more mobility. We decided to leave it as an open wound to encourage healing and complete recovery from the infection. Apparently, open wound healing is best for infections. At first, it was hard to get around but as my body started healing, I could start going for walks with the kids, sitting on the beach. I started enjoying the summer a bit. Swimming was off-limits but I managed to do some things with the kids. 

August 15th

D-day had come. I had to be closed up at some point. So, after 6 weeks of having my marsupial, I had another surgical procedure while being awake and the surgeon cleaned up the site and stitched me up for good. The procedure was not fun and I was very sore for a couple days but recovery didn't take too long. I went back to work on September 3rd and life has gone on. Healing has been slow but it has happened. I started riding my bike again towards the end of September and I've been walking and doing yoga regularly. I really want to start running again but I have a bit of an issue with part of the abdominal wall and it hurts when I run. One day soon though - I will run. 

I really don't regret having the surgery done despite the subsequent infection. I don't like living with regrets and I'd rather accept the consequences. At the end of the day, the surgeon did a great job and I am satisfied with the results of the surgery. I love it that this surgery can be a success for a someone like me who may be moderately active but I am by no means 'thin'. Getting an infection from this surgery and this surgeon in particular is rare - but I suppose it's better that a fairly healthy person go through this and recover rather than an older person whose body might not be able to heal as well. I learned a lot about myself through this whole thing. I learned that I can be brave and undergo surgery without anaesthetic. I learned that my husband and kids are great and really took care of me when I needed it most. I think I also understood a little bit about the resiliency of the human body. It really is amazing. 

My History with the Bike

I have a long history with bikes.  It started when I was very young.  I grew up in the country at the top of  a hill so if I ever wanted to take my bike to visit a friend, I had to speed like the wind down the hill and then trudge the bike up when returning.   But that's not the beginning.

In the beginning... I had training wheels.  I kept them for a good, long while.  One of my first memories was when I was ... about 5 years old.  I fell over into a thistle bush.  This was an omen of things to come.  My dad tried to teach me how to ride a 2-wheeler bike by pushing me down a hill and I ended up in the ditch.  My brand new yellow and white striped shirt was ruined with mud and I was very unhappy.  This is quite similar to the way my dad tried to teach me how to swim.  He threw me into the pool.  

It wasn't long before most of my friends were riding 2-wheelers.  I was a little shy and embarrassed of the fact that I was still using training wheels.  They also slow you down significantly so I couldn't keep up with my friends.  Being all brave, I headed out with my friends by pedaling down our hill of a driveway to the bottom... straight into the rocky ditch on the other side.  It was a mess.  I didn't end up playing with my friends that night.   Those were the days before high-tech inventions like... helmets.

Eventually I learned how to ride a bike.  I don't remember the magical moment, but it must have happened.  Years went by and I didn't touch a bike.  I could walk everywhere in Toronto and it was years before I owned a bike again.  Eric and I bought bikes in 2001 or 2002.  I rode around the neighbourhood a bit; I even bought a Chariot with the bike attachment so I could carry the kids around. 

Other than neighbourhood jaunts, I only tried to take the Chariot once to a playgroup in Greely.  Unlike Anders, Ezra screamed the whole time.  It was horrible.  My butt hurt and I dreaded returning home.  On the way home, I completely gave up and called Eric to come save us.  

This is my history.  

Last year, I decided to try biking to work.  I'm not sure how or why I developed this desire but it happened.  I thought about it for months before asking my husband Eric if he could bike with me to work on my first try.  I was so nervous.  It was so great to have Eric with me on my first trek.  It's about 14.4 km from my house to work and most of it is on a bike path along the Ottawa River.  We did it in an hour and I was super-impressed with myself.  

Since then, I have tried to bike as much as possible.  I've gone through 3 different bike seats, trying to find one that doesn't hurt my tailbone or cha-cha so much.  I had one REALLY bad ride home once.  Pain.  I've biked through wind and rain, goose poop and floods.  I totally draw the line at snow and ice.  I biked at 4 degrees one morning and I swore I wouldn't do it again unless I had biking pants.  I still can't manage to get up hills.  A runner actually pushed me up a hill one day.  I love it, though.  I totally get passed by the people with awesome bikes with awesome wheels and awesome outfits but that's okay.  It beats getting frustrated on the bus, watching the minutes pass too slowly.

That's not me in the photo, but it could be.  I get to bike this route along the Ottawa River, past the War Museum, underneath the Parliament Buildings, past the National Art Gallery on the way to work.

Even though I had a bad history with bikes, I'm glad I didn't let it control the present or the future.  It's hard to try something new but who knows?  That thing that seems scary and hard just might be a challenge you can overcome and learn to enjoy.  

A New Beginning???

So - it's May 10th, 2013.  I haven't blogged in... 2 years maybe?  Well, I won't announce it on Facebook in case this falls through, but I think I'm going to blog again.  What?!!?  Yes.  The life of our family is changing every other minute and it's about time I try to document this.  We'll be having adventures, challenges and see craziness over the next few years so why not share a little of the crazy?

Update:

Jen: I work for the government in Foreign Affairs as a Management Consular Officer.  This means that I help to manage the operations of Embassies/Consulates abroad.  The job is rotational so I'll change my position/locale every few years.  I've been searching for a way to exercise since returning to work almost 2 years ago and I think I've finally found it!  I bike the 15km into work sometimes, I joined a running club at work and there's a gym in the building I've joined to do classes and stuff.  Other than this, my time is spent with the kids - driving them to baseball, soccer, baseball, piano and making sure they practice those musical instruments.

Jen at the Great Wall in China

Eric: He's always up to something.  He continues to work - doing that thing, he continues to work on the cabin we've built in Val-des-Bois and is great at playing with the boys or making dinner on the days he worked from home.  Over the past year, he bought an accordion and most recently - an electric drum kit (for Konrad's birthday ... yeah right.)  He's fun.

Eric in a Hutong in Beijing

Konrad: This kid has signed up for every known activity.  I don't want to stunt this willingness to be involved but it's going to kill me.  At school, he does track and field two mornings a week, choir one morning a week and he just performed at the talent show.  Since he doesn't tell me much about school, I don't really know what else he's got himself into.  Basketball league just ended (sigh of relief), but then Eric signed him up for baseball - just in case this is his calling in life.  So now, we have baseball 3 times a week, soccer once a week (cuz it's too late to cancel), golf lessons this month, piano lessons until the end of June when he does his exam and cubs.  Nutso.  How did this happen to us!!!  Otherwise, he's just as incorrigible as ever, an alpha male in the house, hates to eat the dinners I prepare.  He's also growing up super-fast now and is generally a good boy.  He loves sports, fishing, video games and playing with his friends.

Konrad showing the pearly whites at soccer 2012

Anders: He will be the biggest of the three boys, I think.  He eats non-stop.  Constantly.  He loves sports too and is doing golf lessons Saturday mornings, just finished basketball (where he progressed a lot) and will soon play soccer again.  He's started the violin this year and it's a tough instrument in the first year but we'll stick with it.  Anders LOVES animals and bugs.  He has a quick mind and can recall all sorts of weird stats and facts about random animals/birds.  We have 3 geckos in the house.  This deserves a blog post of its own.  We need to keep the dominant one from interacting with another gecko because he tries to kill it and eat it.

Anders in Florida.

Ezra: Lovely.  He's just turned 4 and is still the baby of the family.  He loved swim classes but refuses to enter the water since they've changed the teacher.  ?????  Hazel, our live-in nanny, cares for him throughout the days and they have many adventures together.  They love each other.  They have their regular play-groups they attend and friends they visit with.  He's a bit precocious but still loves stories at bedtime, TOO interested in video games (he spends the entire week figuring out when Friday comes so he can play again) and is always following his brothers around the neighbourhood with his bike.

Ezra hangin' in Florida.

So - that's enough of an update for now.  I won't overwhelm you with Jakob-ness.